I was in a continuum of anguish and shame as they busied themselves aboutme. First taking the nozzle from my bottom and then manoeuvring me off thebed and making me stand on the floor in a squatting position above the pan. One of the nurses was holding a gloved hand up between my bottom cheeks,pressing hard on my sphincter to stop me evacuating too soon. "That's the way my brave boy… squat down like a good little Indian." Icould have died with shame. I knew there were tears in my eyes as. I was shocked.. How did he know my name? He came near me and asked if I was devika from India.. I nodded in agreement. He came close and took out his mobile and held it to me and started playing a video… it showed a beach and at a distance there were a couple walking. It looked like a CCTV footage. As the video zoomed in, I realized it was me and Amit and we had broken into a kiss.. I prayed the living hell that my moment of forced wardrobe malfunction is not captured but as the video. Pictures flashes up of the three women and they looked and heard in horror the presenter paint them as the “Most evil trio on the planet.”If they were caught, they face the chair or if the mob gets them a monster torture chamber.How authorities thought they were dead.I turned to the women and said, “I have decided I must rehabilitate you girls! I am doing society a favour keeping you off the streets.So First up you now longer exist under your old name.As your guardian I am giving, you knew. I didn’t enjoy the usual lunch table chit-chat or gossip. What was the point of it? So, I sought refuge within myself, becoming deeply introverted and introspective. However, something inside me craved an intimate connection with another – a kindred spirit.I was also a romantic at heart with a huge fantasy life. I didn’t realize until later the significance of my fantasies always containing older men. Despite my other differences, I felt the same sexual awakenings and urges as my peers. My.
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